Attachment ; the emotional connection between a children and parents

Attachment is the emotional connection between a children and parents.  It is very important for your child development. Attachment was formed at the very beginning of life, during the first two years of life. it affects  how well your child may progress.  Early attachment patterns predict the quality of later relationships between you and your children’s. Parents need to develop a healthy relationship with their children’s in order for their social and emotional development occurs normally. Without good and healthy attachment, they will suffer from serious psychological, emotional and social impairment.  During the first two-three years of life, how the parents respond to their children’s effect the type of   attachment their children form.  These may guide your child’s feelings, thoughts and expectations as an adult in future relationships. That is why you need to recognizing your attachment pattern to understand your strengths and weakness in a healthy relationship with your children. it may also help you to understand what you need to develop healthy relationship with your children.

There are four types of attachment style;

Secure attachment style

from the time when children’s are six months to two years of age, they begins to form an emotional attachment with their parents. Children who are securely attached generally become upset when his/her mother leave, and are happy when his/her mother returns. Mother of secure children’s is warm, loving, responsive and sensitive to their children’s needs. She tends to play more with their children. Their relationship tends to be open, honest and equal. These type of children’s are also described as less disruptive and less aggressive and more mature. At  early childhood, if mother are attentive and caring towards their children, then their children will be more prone to secure attachment.


Avoidant attachment style

A child with the avoidant attachment style will avoid or ignore the parents — showing little emotion when the mother departs or returns. Mother of these types of children is insensitive, unresponsive rejecting. Mothers consistently ignore and reject their children’s needs. These types of parents encourage independence and discourage crying. They have little response when a child is distressed and hurting. These types of children’s are   independent, mistrusting of partners, and often anxious about people getting too close. These types of children believe that others dislike them and true love is hard to find. Their relationships are characterized by emotional distance, jealousy, and little contact.


Ambivalent/Anxious Attachment


This type of children is highly distressed when the mother departs. Mother of this type of children is responsive but insensitive and inconsistent to the child action. Children’s with this kind of parenting are insecure and confused. They feel distrustful and suspicious of their parent. As an adult, those children with an ambivalent attachment style often feel worry that their partner does not reciprocate their feelings. This leads to frequent breakups, because the relationship feels distant and cold.


Disorganized/disoriented attachment


In this style of attachment children are afraid to make eye contact with their parents. Parents of these types of children are neglectful and abusive in interaction with the children’s.   The child may experiences the emotional and physical cruelty and frightening behavior.  Due to this children’s disassociate from their selves. These types of children’s do not make sense, shows unpredictable and confusing behavior in future.


Now you can understand why your attachment style is helpful. It also offers you insight that how you felt and developed in your childhood.

Always remember one thing; you have to develop healthy relationship with your children because it influences your child’s understanding of himself, the world and the people in it.


If you have any question, suggestion or opinion you can tell us by comment.

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